What is depression?

What is depression? Depression is I’m never gonna be good enough. Depression is I’m worthless. Depression is everyone is better off without me. Depression is no one wants me around. Depression is I’m just bringing others down. Depression is no on deserves what I cause. Depression is I don’t want to leave but I should, they’ll be happier. Depression is I’m sorry. Depression is I try so hard but I always fail. Depression is I need help but I don’t want to bother you so I won’t ask. Depression is not wanting to disturb your day or your mood. Depression is I want you’re attention but I don’t deserve it. Depression is people only want to see me happy so that’s what I have to be no matter what. Depression is I’m hurting but I can’t show it so I have to put on a happy face for everyone else. Depression is afraid of letting you down, of failing. Depression is I don’t want to leave my bed but I need to get out. Depression is I’m so exhausted but I can’t sleep. Depression is one minute feeling good about myself and the next feeling awful for thinking that. Depression is hopeless. Depression is crying by myself and not wanting anyone to know, but also wishing someone would find me and tell me it'll be ok. Depression is feeling like nobody really cares, Depression is feeling like a nuisance. Depression is just wanting to be held, not needing advice or opinions, not needing to be fixed, just needing to know you’re there. Depression is wanting to stop hurting, both myself and those around me. Depression is knowing if I leave, everyone will be able to be happier.  Depression is wanting to disappear.  Depression is knowing I am broken and not knowing if I can or should be fixed.