I am so used to being the one to help others. Now I look at my life and realize I have absolutely nothing to give. And sadly everyone else is slowly realizing it too and they are drifting away one by one. The one thing I had that couldn't be taken away was the fact that I could get out there and put smiles on peoples faces and that was what I had to give when I lost everything else. But I am finding that for too many, that is not enough. While they are too busy trying to get something more out of me, they are wearing me thinner and thinner and I no longer even have a smile to offer to anyone. I need someone who is just willing to be a friend and not need anything more from me. Being there for me doesn't mean I'm all of a sudden gonna be ready to jump into a relationship with you. And throwing money at me isn't gonna do it either. What I'm looking for is a friend. I had a good friend who was there for me but I don't even know what happened there. She's moved on too apparently.
Everyone seems to think they know best what I need or who I should date or where my time should be spent. But no one knows me. No one fully comprehends what I am going through right now. No one can possibly know what is best for me without knowing what I'm feeling and experiencing. And everyone only hears and sees what they want to.
What is left for me if I no longer have anything to offer. Not even a smile.
