Anytime someone tells you this time is going to be different or I’m going to change, it’s a fucking lie. I have heard it and seen it so many times yet I fell for it again myself. We kept spinning our wheels and having the same issues and the same arguments. We tried therapy multiple times and saw no changes. When I expressed that we had already done therapy and it didn’t do anything he told me that “this time is different. This time I’m going to try.”  I was trying all along. I had finally found ways to things work but was on the verge of giving up. I did everything I could think of to make it work this time. I tried to give him the room and the reason to actually try this time and instead he decided it was too much work and walked away. That was the hardest thing in all the therapy we have done to hear. “We have to much work ahead of us and I can’t do it.” In other words I don’t care and she’s not worth it to me.
I am worth nothing if the people I love do not think I am worth fighting for.  I told my therapist that nobody wants to be around me when I’m depressed and everybody is better off without me. She tried to tell me that was not true and it was just my depression talking but obviously it is very true.  My old husband has walked away from me multiple times when my depression gets bad. If he can’t handle it, who else would want to?   Apparently months of bad outweigh years of good.