Masking life

Normally I am able to find a bright side to things. I find some way to turn things around to sound positive. I am able to put on a smile and pretend all is well. I even talk myself into believing it sometimes. But every now and then reality slaps me across the face and reminds me of just how much life can suck. It takes away the blinders and the candy codings and leaves me with only the sad truth. Tonight was one of those nights and as I look through my phone trying to figure out who I can call at 10pm on a Monday night just to go hang on their couch and watch tv till I feel better or go for a drive with me, I realize I no longer have someone I can just call up like that. And so tonight I drove up geiger grade by myself, contemplated how much life seems to suck right now and then came home feeling slightly better as I usually do after a drive and hoping that tomorrow my mask will be back and I will once again be that happy person who sees the bright side to life.