The things we say

I don't understand people. I would say I don't understand men but men are not alone in this. Where do people get their ideas of what's right and wrong, what's good and bad and what they need or don't need? Some people do or say things that are hurtful and it's as if they don't even realize that it might hurt or they just don't care. Sometimes it's from people close to you and it really stings and sometimes it's a random stranger driving down the street. Most of the time we laugh it off and pretend it doesn't bother us, but deep down it does. These hurtful things are not easily forgotten. And when someone throws those jabs at you more than once you start to wonder what they really think about you or worse, if they're right. I have people in my life that I care about and wish I could relax and be myself around them but little comments that are made make me feel like I have to keep up a facade around them. I have barriers that I just can't let down because I'm afraid people will be disappointed. Sometimes I want nothing more than to spend time with someone but at the same time I don't, because I start feeling self conscious. And we may not always realize it but even when we are talking to a friend in regards to someone else, a comment we make may offend them even if it wasn't directly about them. I'm sure I'm guilty of this myself. Most of the time I try and keep my mouth shut. I try not to say much about anyone to anyone but it's hard at times. When someone is offending you, tell them. Some people really are that dense and might not realize it. I struggle with this too. I feel like I'm showing weakness if I admit that it hurts. Instead I just smile and laugh and act like nothing is wrong. I don't like to appear weak.
Although the negative things are not easily forgotten, neither are the great things. The comments that make us proud. I had someone send me a text not too long ago that I really liked. It made me feel good, gave me hope. He said "You have a lot to offer a man, key word "man", and when that time comes to find him and settle down, I would be honored to shake his hand because he won your heart and from what I know about you, that's a challenge in itself." That one simple comment has done a lot for me. It made me feel good about myself, it made me remember not to settle for anything less than I deserve. The hard part with that is that the negative comments get me questioning what it is I do deserve. I know I have a lot to offer and I know I've been taken advantage of in the past. I try to remind myself constantly about all the positive I have to offer and that it out ways the negative. Don't let others bring you down. Know what you have to offer. Make the good outweigh the bad. I know this is difficult. I question myself all the time. Try to surround yourself with people who think positive. I am all smiles more often than not but when I am around negative attitudes it brings me down. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices we really don't want to in order to be happy in the end.